Well, today marks an exact year since I started classes here at Rasmussen.
It is hard to believe I already have a year of college behind me. I like to say I am in my sophomore year of college even though at Rasmussen you graduate in three years for a Bachelor’s degree. It is going to take me the traditional four years though because I am only taking three classes per quarter. My expected graduation date is September 20, 2011. I am not in a real big hurry to graduate from college because it has taken me almost forever to even reach the point of going to college. Being in school makes me feel good; makes me feel like I am a part of something. Going to Rasmussen makes me feel unique and different. I have always been a very different person and I never learned well in a traditional public school so it is only wise for me to attend a small college where they go out of their way to help you. I do not think I would have ever made it in math class if it had not been for the people at Rasmussen.
Different things motivate me to do well in school. For example wearing my school’s t-shirts, sweatshirts, hoodies, baseball caps, and ski hats really motivate me to keep doing well so I can continue to go to this school and continue to wear the hoodies. I never believed in wearing a college hoodie that you do not go to unless a close friend goes there. It may sound lame, but to me wear my school’s t-shirts and hoodies is motivating. Another thing that really motivates me is knowing I will have the degree it takes to get the job I want which is to one day be a sales manager at my current place of employment. I love my job and I do not know how much longer I can go on just being a cashier.
I mean they let me do other things since I have expressed interest in a supervisor position a few months ago. There is another supervisor position open, but they really want three years of experience in retail so unless they talk to me about it I am not applying for it. Why rush things? If it is meant to be they will come to me because management knows I am interested in staying with the company after college. I am glad I did not get the supervisor position back in August. I realize now it would have been a mistake and maybe I would have ruined what could have been a good career for me later on. I do feel I know a lot more now than I did back in August. Since then I have worked on visual team for a week. While it was only a week I do have a better understanding of floor plans and layouts I also may be trained for cash room.
That would be something very different for me and I have always wanted to learn it. A couple of weeks ago the store manager put me on a project and I did it well. Last Saturday the pricing supervisor called me up to see if I wanted to work on pricing with her so I picked up an extra eight hours of work and learned something new. I may do it again next week. She has no idea about what colors come first and which clothes should face the window and aisles so she left that up to me. She asked me for advice on which racks we should clear off to put the newly marked down merchandise on and which merchandise should come up front. She said she wanted me to help with it because I know where things go in my department.
I have come to the point where I am going to be happy and stop wishing for things and stop rushing things. I am going to stop comparing myself to other people my age. We all have had different life experiences and we all have our problems we need to overcome. I have my whole life to do the kind of job I want to do. For a while I felt like I had to rush into everything because I felt I was behind everyone my age. Everyone was either living with their boyfriend having kids of their own or away at four year universities or had already graduated from college and had the perfect job. I am learning to be happy with myself and with my accomplishments. After all things could be much worse I could be the person I was four years ago when I was 18 and first moved to Ocala; spending my days and nights starving myself, counting calories, arguing with my parents, thinking of ways to reduce my already low calorie intake. I am still not completely recovered; however I have come a long way. Stress seems to bring on those bad feelings, but I am overcoming them and I am no longer worried about how many calories I am eating and when I go out with a friend I can order off the menu without giving a million different directions to the waiter. I can go to McDonald’s with my co-workers and order a meal with friends and not feel guilty about it, that may sound silly, but to me it is like winning an Oscar. I have never felt freer. I have a job I like, my eating disorder is not nearly as bad as it once was and I am in college. Two things I never thought I would ever achieve is breaking free from the eating disorder and enrolling in a college that issues Bachelors awards and being in a private college. One of the biggest things in my life I wanted to accomplish was going to a private college. That reason alone is enough to motivate me to do my best and not to ever give up. Another motivating factor for me to getting the Dean’s List award three quarters out of my four quarters there. I have also made perfect attendance for two quarters and hopefully that will continue for the rest of my time at Rasmussen.