Sixteen million -- that is the number of children between the ages of 2-11 years old that are on the internet today. That is a 63% increase from 5 years ago (Nielson, 2009). Children account for 9.3% of those on the internet. Is this a scary phenomenon or a tell tale sign of what our future holds?

Which ever way your opinion lies, it is hard to not acknowledge the need for technology awareness and expertise that will be required of our future work force.

The first thing is to look at is what children are doing on the internet. While internet usage is equivalent for both genders, it is found that girls visit more websites in general and mainly focus on virtual worlds (like Webkinz) whilst boys are sticking more to video sites. If you are wondering what the typical child is doing for 11 hours a month -- you would be right to guess that they are surfing the web.

You may also be trying to figure out how 2-4 year olds are able to use the internet. These youngest internet users are often found sitting on the lap of their parent many are learning to maneuver the mouse and keyboard. Is it surprising then how many toy computers one can find for sale in a toy store?

It cannot be denied that the internet has many valuable usages -- the fact that 75% of Americans have access to the internet helps to support this belief. On the flip-side, the increasing dangers of the internet are also evident. Children are the prime victims of internet crimes and abuses. So while trying to prepare our children for their futures that include a vast world of technology, what are things we can do to keep them safe from the dangers that lurk within cyberspace? The first is to realize that the internet is not 100% regulated; therefore, it is our job to keep children safe while using a computer. Below is a list of ways to do this:

•  Location, location, location -- the computer should be kept in a public and open location where the activity can be constantly monitored.
•  Parental controls should be set up and filters and blockers should be used. These filters will help to block any questionable content. Free filters can be found easily on the internet. Remember to keep these updated since the internet changes constantly.
• Internet usage should never be allowed without an adult present.
• Clear rules should be establish and enforced.
• Check to see the access and filters that are in place for all computers that a child will have access to (their home, school, friends, etc).
• Educate children directly about internet safety (keep it age appropriate).
• Do not allow children to give out personal and/or identifying information.

   These are just a few of the ways to keep the internet safe while allowing children to become technology literate within a technology dependent society. What are additional ways that can be suggested to keep children safe on the internet?

This question came from my nine year old daughter Jasmine the other day as I prepared dinner with my oldest daughter eleven year old Renae. Jasmine’s question puzzled me. You could tell that she was serious about figuring out the proper term for someone who says one thing, but does another thing. I looked up at Jasmine and mentally started recycling the day events. Had I done something that didn’t align with our family values?

I think Jasmine’s question has validity. Maybe her inquiry was specific to something she had on her mind, but I believe it asks a broader question: do Early Childhood Professionals apply the same principles outside of our dealings with young children/ students in the classroom? I am convinced that if “we” practiced what we preached a lot of miscommunication and hard feelings would decrease in the workplace, home, church, and community. If we applied some of the most BASIC, reoccurring phrases used in the early childhood classroom to everyday life, we would have better relationships between all people.

How often, do you say the following statements to young children?

• Walking feet
• Gentle hands
• Listening ears
• Inside voices
• We have to share with our friends

I know you’re laughing because you know this is a reoccurring chant in the early childhood classroom. But, do you PRACTICE these key principles in your own life? Let’s imagine a world of “adults” taking time to slow down and enjoy the sounds of nature, the raindrops falling, a child wanting to show you a trick (for the tenth time) they learned. Better yet, take time to truly listen (be present) to a co-worker as she expresses a thought – could you without any interruption or anticipating to talk in order to “one up” the person with your wisdom? Visualize giving hugs randomly to that awkward and nonchalant teenage niece or nephew stopping over to ask for money again. Maybe that inside voice actually might smile because you benefited another person (shared) “just because”.

Jasmine’s question is valid. “Mom, what do you call a person who says one thing, but does another?” Let’s practice our own basic principles not just in the classroom, but also in our everyday dealings with people and help make the world a better place.

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Of course we want to protect young children from all that could possibly harm them in life.  We want them to be happy.  We want to steer them away from anything that could cause discomfort.  We don’t want them to struggle…Do we?

Can we go too far with this?  Is it possible to protect them too much?

Consider this.  Two-year-old Robert struggles to get his coat on.  He begins this age-old toddler two-step by putting his arm in the wrong sleeve while the other arm on his circling body searches for the empty sleeve that always seems to be just out of reach.  A kind adult intervenes immediately and says “Here, dear.  Let me do that for you”.  She takes the coat off of Robert, realigns it, pushes one arm in the first sleeve, and then the other. 

Later that morning on the playground, one of Robert’s mittens falls off.  He picks it up and begins the struggle of using his little sausage fingers to work that mitten back on.  A well-meaning adult quickly steps in and says “Here, dear.  Let me do that for you”.  She takes the mitten from Robert and pulls it back into place over his hand.

What’s wrong with that?  In her effort to keep Robert from struggling, the well-meaning adult also prevented Robert from opportunities to develop the skills he needs.  He missed a chance to develop small motor skills by practicing grasping and pulling that mitten.  He’ll need those skills later to be able to write.  He missed a chance to figure out where the thumb spot goes--near the top or the bottom. He’ll need these skills later to solve problems.  More importantly, he missed that chance to know that he can do it by himself eventually. --To know that on the other side of struggle is success. –To know that he is capable.  He’ll need this self-confidence to be successful throughout his life.

What messages might Robert be gleaning from these repeated well-intentioned, helpful interventions?  You are not able to do this for yourself.  You are not capable. You are helpless.  Certainly this was never the true intention of the adult.

Is this an extreme example?  Of course it is.  Does this mean we should never help a child who is struggling?  Of course not.  Most assuredly there are limits to the amount of struggle that is healthy.  We do not ever want children to feel unsafe or removed from our support and care.  We do, however, want to choose when to intervene and when to let children struggle a bit. 

Struggle is a necessary part of growth.  Theorist Vygotsky’s (1978) Zone of Proximal Development provides a snapshot of what a child can do independently and what he can do with scaffolding (help) from others.  We want the child to move through this zone by being challenged just beyond his comfort zone until he is capable of doing the task without assistance.  That’s where the struggle comes into play.

While we don’t want to totally remove the struggle, we do want to maximize its benefits.  Here are some ways to do that.  In a situation where a child is struggling, ensure first of all, that the child is safe.  Go from there. 

Let him struggle a bit before intervening. 

• Do intervene before the child gets overwhelmed. 
• Ask him if he would like some help. 
• If he answers “yes” then help just enough for him to be able to meet the challenge. He may then be able to complete the task on his own. 
• Provide encouragement. Some examples are “You are working hard to get that on.  It must feel good to do that by yourself.  You almost got it—Good for you!  How does that make you feel inside?  You did it!” and so on.

It may be difficult for you to watch a child struggle a bit.  Close your eyes and picture little Robert. Do you see a child who needs you to put his coat on or do you see a child who is fighting to gain resilience and self-confidence?  You can help him develop what he needs for the rest of his life. 

That is the power of struggle.

Vygotsky, L. (1978). Mind in society: The development of higher psychological processes. London: Harvard University Press.