What if managing conflict in the workplace came down to understanding conflict styles? Dr. Brein Haugen’s conflict resolution training can provide valuable insights into how you can identify your own and others' conflict styles to manage disputes more effectively.
If you recognize and adapt to different conflict styles, you can achieve better communication and a faster resolution to the problem. Understand these styles and approach conflicts more strategically and empathetically, leading to more productive outcomes.
Conflict can occur nearly anywhere with just about anyone, but it is especially prevalent in professional environments where diverse individuals with different perspectives and goals must collaborate. Workplace conflict often arises due to miscommunications, differing values, competition for resources or personality clashes. These workplace conflicts can be exacerbated by stress, unclear job roles or power dynamics.
People naturally disagree, and conflicts arise often. And that's alright. Actually, it's wonderful!
Our varying perspectives can steer us toward dialogue, foster a better understanding of a situation and (hopefully) lead to meaningful change.
It may seem counterintuitive, but conflict is a major element of our personal and professional success and well-being. Conflict allows for the expression of different perspectives – which can bring about new ideas, elevate an existing idea, or beg for a reexamination of an old one.
Find your natural conflict style
Think of a word describing how you reacted the last time you had a conflict.
Stressed, silent, angry, anxious, shut-down, uncomfortable, confused – these are the familiar responses, and it’s not surprising – conflict can be tough.
It’s important to establish that there is no correct conflict style. But there are situations that call for one conflict style over another. There’s extreme value in knowing how and when to use a specific conflict style.
You won’t change people’s conflict styles. However, you can use tools to identify your own style, understand others' styles, and even uncover the root causes of a conflict.
Try this exercise offered by Dr. Haugen’s webinar to determine your conflict style. Grab a pen and write down a number from 1 (rarely) to 5 (always) for each statement, based on what best describes you.
- If someone disagrees with me, I vigorously defend my side of the issue.
- I go along with suggestions from peers, even if I don’t agree with them.
- I give and take so an agreement can be reached.
- I keep my opinions to myself rather than openly disagree with people.
- In disagreements or negotiations, I try to find the best possible solutions for both sides by sharing information.
- I try to reach a middle ground in disputes with other people.
- I go along with the wishes of people who have different points of view than my own .
- I refrain from openly debating issues where there is disagreement.
- In negotiations, I hold on to my position rather than give in.
- I try to solve conflicts that benefit both me and the other person.
- I let peers have their way rather than jeopardize our relationship.
- I try to win my position in a discussion.
- I investigate conflicts with peers so that we can discover solutions that benefit both of us.
- It is not worth the time and trouble discussing my differences of opinion with other people.
- To reach an agreement, I give up some things in exchange for others.
Tallying the Results
After responding to each statement with a numerical value, add the correlating responses to find your conflict style. The highest total number signifies your strongest conflict style. Here’s the formula:
- Competing: Add the number responses from statements 1+ 9 + and 12 = ____
- Accommodating: Add the number responses from statements 2, 7, 11 = ____
- Compromising: Add the number responses from statements 3, 6, 15 = ____
- Avoiding: Add the number responses from statements 4, 8, 14 = ____
- Collaborating: Add the number responses from statements 5, 10, 13 = ____
See how these conflict styles relate to one another in this video.
Conflict Management: What’s Your Style
The main types of conflict styles
There are several types of conflict styles. Some ignore conflict, some seek peaceful resolutions and some step right into it ready to bite. There are many ways to address conflict, and understanding the different styles is crucial for managing them more effectively.
Each style has its own approach to conflict management, with unique strengths and weaknesses. By recognizing these styles, you hold the power to choose the most appropriate response for each situation.
#1. The Competing conflict style
Assertive and uncooperative, these individuals focus on their own goals. They use whatever power is necessary to achieve their position. Competing can also involve standing up for your rights, defending a stance you believe is correct or simply trying to win.
Pros and cons of the competing conflict style
Pros
- Good for short term conflict resolution, quick decisions, and emergencies
- Unpopular course of action needs to be taken
- Protect yourself from being taken advantage of
- Assert needs and desires which is important in certain situations
- Encourage personal growth and challenge individuals
Cons
- Can become overly competitive and want to win at any cost
- Creates hostility and aggression
- Win-lose approach. One side’s needs are met while the other side’s needs are not.
#2. The Accommodating conflict style
Unassertive and cooperative, the accommodating conflict style is the opposite of competing.
These individuals prioritize others' concerns over their own, often engaging in self-sacrifice. Accommodating can manifest as selfless generosity or charity, complying with someone else's demands against their own preferences, or conceding to another's viewpoint.
Pros and cons of accommodating conflict style
Pros
- People are interested in preserving the peace and maintaining the most harmonious circumstances possible.
- Mistakes are tolerated
- Build up social credit for future use
- Helps employees develop by allowing them to have freedom to experiment and learn from their mistakes.
- Sense of teamwork and community
Cons
- Lack assertiveness
- Sacrificing one’s own needs and desires
- Cause feelings of frustration and resentment if one feels their priorities are constantly ignored
#3. The Avoiding conflict style
Unassertive and uncooperative, these individuals neither pursue their own concerns nor those of others. They tend to avoid conflict altogether. Avoiding may involve diplomatically stepping aside on an issue, postponing it until a better time, or withdrawing from a tense or threatening situation.
Pros and cons of the avoiding conflict style
Pros
- Can be effective when conflict is exceedingly trivial and to pursue a solution would ultimately be time-consuming and wasteful
- Can keep arguments from happening – peaceful environment
Cons
- Issues don’t get resolved
- Communication suffers
- Damage relationships
- Creates tension and makes people feel uneasy around one another
- Missing out on the chance to learn and grow from difficult situations
#4. The Compromising conflict style
Both assertive and cooperative, these individuals aim to find mutually acceptable solutions that satisfy both parties to some extent.
This approach strikes a balance between the competing and accommodating conflict styles. It addresses issues more directly than avoiding but doesn't delve as deeply as collaborating. Compromising may involve splitting the difference, making concessions, or finding a middle ground.
Pros and cons of the compromising conflict style
Pros
- Both parties get what they want
- First approach to manage conflict, but least effective in managing tension
- Agree to disagree – finding middle ground and remaining flexible
- Creates a sense of fairness and balance
- Encourages cooperation and communication to find a mutually acceptable solution
Cons
- People may feel like they’re giving up too much
- Feelings of dissatisfaction
- Focusing on finding a middle ground could cause one to compromise their own needs
- Collaborating conflict style
#5. The Collaborating conflict style
Assertive and collaborative, individuals with the collaborating conflict style aim to work with others to find a solution that fully satisfies both parties' concerns.
This approach involves delving into an issue to uncover underlying concerns and finding an alternative solution that addresses them both.
Collaborating can involve exploring a disagreement to learn from each other's insights, resolving conditions that might lead to competition for resources, or confronting issues to find a creative solution.
Pros and cons of the collaborating conflict style
Pros
- Explore alternative ideas
- Could benefit everyone involved
- Leads to mutual respect and understanding
- Fosters creativity, innovation, thinking outside the box, and considering multiple perspectives
Cons
- If there is a lack of trust and communication, it can be tough to find a mutually beneficial solution
- Time-consuming to produce the perfect plan
Five conflict resolution strategies
Effective conflict resolution skills are important because they foster a harmonious and productive environment, whether in the workplace or in personal relationships.
Addressing conflict allows for the healthy expression of differing viewpoints, leading to better understanding and innovative solutions. Resolving conflict also helps to maintain strong relationships and prevent the escalation of disputes, including resentment or a sense of unfairness.
Here are five conflict resolution strategies Dr. Haugen recommends, along with how you can apply them.
- Active Listening
Truly listen to the other person's perspective without interrupting. Show empathy and validate their feelings.
How to Apply: Maintain eye contact, nod in agreement, and paraphrase what they say to ensure you understand their point of view.
- Collaborative Problem Solving
Work together to find a solution that satisfies both parties. Focus on mutual goals and interests rather than individual positions.
How to Apply: Identify common ground, brainstorm potential solutions, and agree on the best course of action that benefits everyone involved.
- Compromise
Each party gives up something to reach a mutually acceptable solution. This strategy involves finding a middle ground.
How to Apply: Discuss and negotiate to identify aspects each party is willing to concede. Aim for a solution that meets the most important needs of both sides.
- Mediation
Involve a neutral third party to facilitate a resolution. The mediator helps clarify issues and guide the parties toward an agreement.
How to Apply: Select a trained mediator or an unbiased person trusted by both parties. Allow them to manage the discussion and suggest possible solutions.
- Setting Ground Rules
Establish clear guidelines for how conflicts should be addressed. This strategy helps ensure that discussions remain respectful and productive.
How to Apply: Agree on rules such as no interrupting, no personal attacks, and focusing on the issue at hand rather than personal grievances. Reiterate these rules during conflict discussions to maintain order and respect.
Explore other ways to manage
As you can see, effective management strategies take more than just your good intentions.
Managing is hard work, and it gets harder when conflict arises. For more ideas on what to do, check out Back on Track: 7 Tips for Managers Dealing With Difficult Employees.
About the presenter
Dr. Brein Haugen holds a bachelor's degree in psychology from North Dakota State, a master's degree specializing in industrial and organizational psychology from the Chicago School of Professional Psychology, and a PhD in psychology from Capella University. With a focus on maintaining millennials in the workforce, she has been a dedicated faculty member at Rasmussen for over 17 years. She is currently the Campus Executive Director at the Fargo Moorhead Campus.
