Teachers Share the Funny Things Kids Say in the Classroom
By Megan Ruesink on 01/19/2017
Kids are natural comedians. Any parent, teacher or nanny can attest to that. They say what they’re thinking without hesitation and ask questions with no fear of sounding foolish. That’s why caregivers, parents and teachers have scores of silly stories to share.
We asked teachers to share with us their most amusing moments in the classroom with their comical kids. So whether you’re just looking for a laugh or considering becoming a teacher or childcare worker, we think you’ll appreciate this list of quotes and stories about the funny things kids say.
11 silly student stories that will make you laugh
1. Not Bob!
One little munchkin came up to her teacher asking for a paper and a pencil. It was a common request, so the teacher handed her the items. The student proceeded to draw a stick figure with a body, legs and a head, without any arms.
She flipped the picture around to face the teacher and said, “This is Bob. Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?” the teacher responded.
“Not Bob!” yelled the girl.
-Sadie, third-grade teacher
2. ’Tis of thee
A kindergarten teacher was showing her class a page from a book with several national flags on it. She pointed to the American flag and asked, “What flag is this?”
A little girl replied, “That’s our country’s flag.”
“Very good,” the teacher said. “And what is the name of our country?”
“’Tis of thee,” the little girl said.
-Allen Klein’s audio book TeacherLaughs: Quips, Quotes, and Anecdotes about the Classroom
3. Talking dogs
One teacher was working with a child who was not cooperating and told the teacher to “shut up.” This behavior went on for several minutes before the teacher removed him from the class to calm down.
While out of the classroom, he struck up another conversation about his dog. He told the adult that his dog could really talk.
She said, “He barks when you say speak, right?”
The student responded, “He says real words; he's a talking dog.”
From there, the conversation led to how the dog could be on TV because people would want to see a real talking dog. The teacher noticed the student had calmed down and came back to talk with him.
She asked, “Are you ready to apologize for telling me to shut up?”
The student responded, “Yes. Because I have a dog that is going to make me so rich I can pay you to shut up.”
-Helen Meissner, preschool teacher at Love to Grow On
4. A future with feathers
Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Kindergartner: A bird.
-Becca, ESL teacher
5. Hilariously honest
This teacher realized that on days she didn’t wear makeup she got some mixed responses from her little students.
“Where did your eyebrows go?”
“It’s like you’re a clean slate!”
“Your eyes are saggy today. That seems bad.”
“You look fresh today!”
-Elisabeth, dance teacher
6. God’s face
A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of kids while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, “I'm drawing God.”
The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.”
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”
-Allen Klein’s audio book TeacherLaughs: Quips, Quotes, and Anecdotes about the Classroom
7. Revolt(ing) with words
It’s not uncommon that older students will not want to do their schoolwork, and one student made that very clear. When the teacher was assigning the practice questions, here’s what she heard:
Student: “No! I don’t want to! Maybe we can start a revolution, or like a revolt! Yeah… I’m revolting!”
Everyone else: “Yes, you are...”
-Esther Graff, ninth-grade teacher
8. Mini salesman
When the teacher asked her students to share a little about themselves at the beginning of the year, kids shared things like their favorite color, how many siblings they have or what they wanted to be when they grew up.
One little boy shared some of these facts and then added, “I would also like to announce that I have a keyboard I’m selling. I will sell it for $2 or the best offer. You can contact me during lunch if you’re interested.”
The teacher laughed and said she thought he’d be a successful businessman one day. She told him not to forget her when he was busy making millions.
-Sadie, third-grade teacher
9. All eyes on the apples
The children were lined up for lunch in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school. There was a pile of apples at the front of the table along with a note from the teacher that said, “Take only ONE. God is watching.”
At the other end of the table was a pile of chocolate chip cookies. Next to it was a note written by one of the children that said, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples!”
- Allen Klein’s audio book TeacherLaughs: Quips, Quotes, and Anecdotes about the Classroom
10. Toilet troubles
Teacher: Why didn’t you have your homework?
Student: I was working on it while I was sitting on the toilet and it fell in.
-Heather Lovrien, teacher
11. Address or a dress
Teacher: Who knows their address.
Student: Oh, I do!
Teacher: Okay, let’s hear it.
Student: All right, I have a navy dress, a church dress, a play dress and a summer dress.
Teacher: Not exactly what I was looking for.
-Sadie, kindergarten teacher
Funny kids = fun job
Getting a front-row seat to experience the funny things kids say is just one of the many perks of a career in the classroom. If you can’t get enough of these entertaining examples, you may be destined to teach tots.
See if you have what it takes by reading our article: 9 Signs You Should Be Teaching Preschool.
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