Teachers Share the Funny Things Kids Say in the Classroom

little girl swinging on tire swing

Kids are natural comedians. Any parent, teacher or nanny can attest to that. They say what they’re thinking without hesitation and ask questions with no fear of sounding foolish. That’s why caregivers, parents and teachers have scores of silly stories to share.

We asked teachers to share with us their most amusing moments in the classroom with their comical kids. So whether you’re just looking for a laugh or considering becoming a teacher or childcare worker, we think you’ll appreciate this list of quotes and stories about the funny things kids say.

11 silly student stories that will make you laugh

1. Not Bob!

One little munchkin came up to her teacher asking for a paper and a pencil. It was a common request, so the teacher handed her the items. The student proceeded to draw a stick figure with a body, legs and a head, without any arms.

She flipped the picture around to face the teacher and said, “This is Bob. Knock knock.”

“Who’s there?” the teacher responded.

“Not Bob!” yelled the girl.

-Sadie, third-grade teacher

2. ’Tis of thee

A kindergarten teacher was showing her class a page from a book with several national flags on it. She pointed to the American flag and asked, “What flag is this?”

A little girl replied, “That’s our country’s flag.”

“Very good,” the teacher said. “And what is the name of our country?”

“’Tis of thee,” the little girl said.

-Allen Klein’s audio book TeacherLaughs: Quips, Quotes, and Anecdotes about the Classroom

3. Talking dogs

One teacher was working with a child who was not cooperating and told the teacher to “shut up.” This behavior went on for several minutes before the teacher removed him from the class to calm down.

While out of the classroom, he struck up another conversation about his dog. He told the adult that his dog could really talk.

She said, “He barks when you say speak, right?”

The student responded, “He says real words; he's a talking dog.”

From there, the conversation led to how the dog could be on TV because people would want to see a real talking dog. The teacher noticed the student had calmed down and came back to talk with him.

She asked, “Are you ready to apologize for telling me to shut up?”

The student responded, “Yes. Because I have a dog that is going to make me so rich I can pay you to shut up.”

-Helen Meissner, preschool teacher at Love to Grow On

4. A future with feathers

Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?

Kindergartner: A bird.

-Becca, ESL teacher

5. Hilariously honest

This teacher realized that on days she didn’t wear makeup she got some mixed responses from her little students.

“Where did your eyebrows go?”

“It’s like you’re a clean slate!”

“Your eyes are saggy today. That seems bad.”

“You look fresh today!”

-Elisabeth, dance teacher

6. God’s face

A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of kids while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, “I'm drawing God.”

The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.”

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”

-Allen Klein’s audio book TeacherLaughs: Quips, Quotes, and Anecdotes about the Classroom

7. Revolt(ing) with words

It’s not uncommon that older students will not want to do their schoolwork, and one student made that very clear. When the teacher was assigning the practice questions, here’s what she heard:

Student: “No! I don’t want to! Maybe we can start a revolution, or like a revolt! Yeah… I’m revolting!”

Everyone else: “Yes, you are...”

-Esther Graff, ninth-grade teacher

8. Mini salesman

When the teacher asked her students to share a little about themselves at the beginning of the year, kids shared things like their favorite color, how many siblings they have or what they wanted to be when they grew up.

One little boy shared some of these facts and then added, “I would also like to announce that I have a keyboard I’m selling. I will sell it for $2 or the best offer. You can contact me during lunch if you’re interested.”

The teacher laughed and said she thought he’d be a successful businessman one day. She told him not to forget her when he was busy making millions.

-Sadie, third-grade teacher

9. All eyes on the apples

The children were lined up for lunch in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school. There was a pile of apples at the front of the table along with a note from the teacher that said, “Take only ONE. God is watching.”

At the other end of the table was a pile of chocolate chip cookies. Next to it was a note written by one of the children that said, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples!”

- Allen Klein’s audio book TeacherLaughs: Quips, Quotes, and Anecdotes about the Classroom

10. Toilet troubles

Teacher: Why didn’t you have your homework?

Student: I was working on it while I was sitting on the toilet and it fell in.

-Heather Lovrien, teacher

11. Address or a dress

Teacher: Who knows their address.

Student: Oh, I do!

Teacher: Okay, let’s hear it.

Student: All right, I have a navy dress, a church dress, a play dress and a summer dress.

Teacher: Not exactly what I was looking for.

-Sadie, kindergarten teacher

Funny kids = fun job

Getting a front-row seat to experience the funny things kids say is just one of the many perks of a career in the classroom. If you can’t get enough of these entertaining examples, you may be destined to teach tots.

See if you have what it takes by reading our article: 9 Signs You Should Be Teaching Preschool.

RELATED ARTICLES:

About the author

Megan Ruesink

Megan is a freelance writer for Collegis education who writes student-focused articles on behalf of Rasmussen University. She hopes to engage and intrigue current and potential students.

writer

Related Content

Related Content

This piece of ad content was created by Rasmussen University to support its educational programs. Rasmussen University may not prepare students for all positions featured within this content. Please visit www.rasmussen.edu/degrees for a list of programs offered. External links provided on rasmussen.edu are for reference only. Rasmussen University does not guarantee, approve, control, or specifically endorse the information or products available on websites linked to, and is not endorsed by website owners, authors and/or organizations referenced. Rasmussen University is accredited by the Higher Learning Commission, an institutional accreditation agency recognized by the U.S. Department of Education.

logo-accreditation-acen logo-accreditation-ccne chart-credential-laddering-associates-bachelors-masters 0 Credits 90 Credits 180 Credits 48 Credits Start Here HIGH SCHOOL GRADS Start Here TRANSFER STUDENTS Start Here SECOND DEGREE PURSUERS End Here ASSOCIATE'S DEGREE Start Here MASTER'S DEGREE PURSUERS End Here BACHELOR'S DEGREE End Here MASTER'S DEGREE chart-credential-laddering-associates-bachelors 0 Credits Start Here HIGH SCHOOL GRADS Start Here TRANSFER STUDENTS 90 Credits Start Here SECOND DEGREE PURSUERS End Here ASSOCIATE'S DEGREE 180 Credits End Here BACHELOR'S DEGREE chart-credential-laddering-msn chart-credential-laddering-nursing-programs chart-credential-laddering-nursing DNP MSN RN to BSN LPN to RN Bridge Accelerated BSN Professional Nursing ADN Practical Nursing Diploma Pre-Licensure Post-Licensure icon-colored-outline-bank icon-colored-outline-certificate icon-colored-outline-circle-dollar-sign icon-colored-outline-folder-search icon-colored-outline-hand-heart icon-colored-outline-head-blocks icon-colored-outline-head-cog icon-colored-outline-head-heart icon-colored-outline-health-plus-leaves icon-colored-outline-hospital icon-colored-outline-lifelong-learning icon-colored-outline-light-bulb-analytics icon-colored-outline-location-pin icon-colored-outline-magnifying-glass icon-colored-outline-monitor-healthcare icon-colored-outline-monitor-paper-search icon-colored-outline-nurse-rays icon-colored-outline-padlock-shield icon-colored-outline-person-presenter-screen icon-colored-outline-scales ras-logo-flame ras-logo-horizontal ras-logo-stacked icon-colored-advance icon-colored-arrows-cross-curve icon-colored-briefcase-star icon-colored-build icon-colored-bulb-analytics icon-colored-certificate icon-colored-continual-development icon-colored-duo-chatbox icon-colored-folder-mortarboard icon-colored-forward-ribbon icon-colored-gears-clock icon-colored-globe-pen icon-colored-growth icon-colored-hand-bubble icon-colored-hand-stars icon-colored-hands-gear icon-colored-head-blocks icon-colored-head-cog icon-colored-health-plus-leaves icon-colored-hospital-building icon-colored-laptop-cbe-skyscraper icon-colored-laptop-checkmark icon-colored-laptop-webpage icon-colored-location-map icon-colored-location-pin icon-colored-monitor-paper-scan icon-colored-mortarboard-dollar icon-colored-national icon-colored-people-chat-bubbles icon-colored-person-cheer-star icon-colored-person-laptop-checkboxes icon-colored-person-screen-instructor icon-colored-person-whiteboard icon-colored-phone-chatbox icon-colored-police-light icon-colored-prep icon-colored-presenter icon-colored-regional icon-colored-save-time icon-colored-shirt-hat icon-colored-skyscraper icon-colored-state icon-colored-student-centered icon-colored-support icon-colored-world-experience icon-triangle-arrow-up-plant icon-triangle-calendar-pencil icon-triangle-clock-rotating-arrows icon-triangle-display-gears icon-triangle-hand-right-speech-bubble icon-triangle-laptop-coding-brackets icon-triangle-mortarboard icon-triangle-paper-ribbon icon-triangle-person-cheer-star icon-triangle-person-juggle icon-triangle-triple-people-chat-bubble icon-modality-campus icon-modality-field icon-modality-online icon-modality-residential icon-arrow icon-bank icon-camera icon-filter icon-general-chart icon-general-connect icon-general-degree icon-general-discuss icon-general-email icon-general-find icon-general-hat icon-general-heart icon-general-laptop-building icon-general-laptop icon-general-leader icon-general-map icon-general-money icon-general-paperwork icon-general-people icon-general-phone icon-general-speak-out icon-head-heart icon-info-circle icon-mail-forward icon-mglass icon-play-solid icon-quote-mark-left icon-quote-mark-right icon-scales icon-share-square-o icon-simple-chat icon-simple-desktop icon-simple-find icon-simple-hamburger icon-simple-phone icon-spinner icon-tag icon-testimonial-quotes icon-util-checkbox-white icon-util-checkbox icon-util-checked-white icon-util-checked icon-util-chevron-down icon-util-chevron-left icon-util-chevron-right icon-util-chevron-up icon-util-circle-arrow-down icon-util-circle-dot icon-util-language-switch icon-util-loading icon-util-open-window-link icon-util-pdf-link icon-util-refresh icon-util-x rebrand-arrows icon-social-facebook-colored icon-social-facebook-square-colored icon-social-facebook-square icon-social-facebook icon-social-google-plus-square icon-social-google-plus icon-social-instagram-colored icon-social-instagram icon-social-linkedin-square-colored icon-social-linkedin-square icon-social-linkedin icon-social-pinterest-p-colored icon-social-pinterest-p icon-social-twitter-colored icon-social-twitter-square icon-social-twitter icon-social-youtube-play-colored icon-social-youtube-play graduate-cap-star-coin hand-coin hand-heart nurse-stethoscope-rays card-send-smile person-yoga-pose suitcase-star